For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a mommy. I decided when I was about 8 years old that I would have 4 kids and a husband, and my life would be awesome. I think it would be safe to say that you too have had some variation of this life plan. As I got older however, I realized that I wanted to be more than just a mommy and a wife. I wanted to have a career and do super dope things like travel, explore, and become a world influencer. I also wanted a boss of a husband. Someone who was totally killin’ it in his own space and industry. I wanted us to be this super charged power couple. Kind of like in the movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith. But without all the secret spy stuff (although in hindsight that might be equally as cool).
Anywho so yeah… I had these high hopes for my life, my kids, and my future hubby. I almost felt guilty for wanting so much until I was introduced with to the Proverbs 31 woman. Reading her life story and all she did; how well respected her Mr. was; and how her kids praised her was so inspiring. But after coming down from the high of her awesomeness I was like… “My goodness that’s a lot of work! Seriously, where the hacks are the shortcuts and life hacks?” And thus my love hate relationship with her began. I love everything she is but I hate how her life story reminds me how far I am from being like her.
For many, her life seems like an unrealistic way of living some pie in the sky nonsense. Others have concluded that her profile is a collection of many women as it’s far too perfect to belong to just one. Therefore, to strive to live like her is a foolish pursuit. But at any rate, I am drawn to this woman and despite my best attempts I still want to model my life after hers. I reject the notion that the account might be a collection of many and that to live such a life is unattainable for these five God revealed truths.
Her life is evidence of what it looks like to seek first the kingdom of God
I think one of the main reasons I get kind of bummed when reading Proverbs 31:10-31 is because I know in my heart that her life is a glimpse of what mine could look like if I was to actually obedient and did what I’m told to do in Matthew 6:33. But the truth is I don’t seek God’s Kingdom nor His righteousness like I should. And if I’m completely honest until recently I didn’t even know exactly how to do so (sad, yea, but I’m just being honest).
So what’s a girl to do. Well, first I had to stop trying to kid myself and make excuses. Second, I realized seeking God’s Kingdom above all else is really not as complicated as I was making it out to be. In its simplest form, after we’ve accepted Christ as our Lord and Saviour, everything we think, say, and do should glorify God and draw others to Him. That’s it.
The reasons the Proverbs 31 woman’s life was laced with super fantasticalness because she had this thing down to a science. Did the way she treated her husband glorify God? Yes. How she spent her time did that glorify God? Yes. What she ate? How she dressed? How she talked? The list goes on and they are all a resounding yes. Because she lived intentionally to glorify God. He fulfilled His promise in Matthew 6:33 and gave her everything she needed.
Can the same be said for you? Do you initially live to glorify our Heavenly Father? If not, what’s one area of your life that you can start doing so today?
It’s not something you DO it’s something you ARE
Unfortunately, when you read many commentaries and devotionals on becoming a Proverbs 31 woman you’re likely to find a laundry list of to-dos and not to-dos in order to achieve a life like hers. But the Lord showed me that it’s not about the execution of task in the pursuit of perfection. Because becoming a Proverbs 31 woman is a matter of the heart.
At it’s core the purpose of this passage is to get women to search their hearts to see if they have what it takes to manifest such a life. The fruit the Proverbs 31 woman bore is simply a manifestation of the root of her values and character.
Let’s put this thing in perspective shall we?? See, her husband wouldn’t have trusted her (v. 11) if she was not first trustworthy. She wouldn’t go bring food from afar (v. 14) if she didn’t value what she put in her body. She wouldn’t get up early (v. 15) if she didn’t value making the most of her day. She wouldn’t be an energetic strong worker (v.17) if she didn’t value hard work. She wouldn’t give to the poor (v. 25) if she didn’t value being of service. Get my drift?
See, I’ve learned people do what they want to do and make time for what they want to make time for. Both of which reflect their values and character. You and I are no different God Girl. Therefore, we must keep in mind that before we adopt her to do list we have to first adopt her way of being.
What does the way you spend your time, how to talk to others, your level of giving, what you wear, etc. Say about your values and character? Does it say what you want it to say? Does it reflect the values and character of a woman who intentionally glorifies God with her life? If not, what specific steps can you take starting today to change that?
The hold-up is in selfishness, not inability
To be transparent, if I had my choice I’d choose sleeping in over getting up early; eating trash over eating well; lounging over working; procrastination over pre-planning, and being served over being of service simply because it’s what I want to do. But this selfish way of living doesn’t create the opportunities and situations needed in order to build my dream life because it only benefits me.
So when I’m tempted to say living like the Proverbs 31 woman is impossible, God gently reminds me that as soon as I choose to live selflessly such a life is within reach. Because this chick was a giver, like for real. She gave everything to everybody. She gave value to her husband, time to her family, thought to her investments, aid to the poor, kind words to those in need of encouragement, etc, etc.
What areas of your life can you be less selfish in order to significantly improve them? Write them down. Then create a plan of action to shift to the selfless side of life (I totally made that term up. But I think It’s kinda cool).
Strategy is everything
Just like God, we are strategist. And when you look at the life account of the Proverbs 31 woman you see her successfully employing this God-like ability on several occasions. Case and point. She’s up planning her day (v 15) in order to make sure everything gets done. She inspected a field to buy it. Not simply for the sake of purchasing land but with the intentions of planting a vineyard with her earning (v 16).
When was the last time you were strategic about anything? Have you crafted a plan for getting out of debt? Do you plan your day? What about your spiritual growth or your family’s devotional time? Do you commit to becoming a savvy strategist? Or will you continue to YOLO your time here on earth and hope for the best?
You can’t (and you don’t have to) do it alone
The final truth God revealed to me as it relates to becoming a Proverbs 31 woman is to solicit the help of others. Now you may not be able to afford hired help like she could. But that should not stop you from getting your little ones (if they are old enough) to help out around the house. Or your Mr. to help with child care. Or your close friend with accountability. You even have our community of Christian women to help you steer your spiritual growth, achieve life balance, share ideas, or simply be your support group. Help is a lot closer than you think God Girl and together we can achieve more.
Tis all for now
Sending you positive vibes and the love of Christ,